Full Circle

In what seems like a lifetime ago I was in the second year of the three-year Master of Divinity program at the Unitarian Universalist seminary in Berkeley, California.  In addition to the coursework to be dealt with, I was also logging hours at the UU Church of Berkeley,  located a few miles from town up a winding road in the Kensington hills.   An impressive piece of architecture overlooking San Francisco Bay, Coit Tower, and the Golden Gate, it was a beehive of activity.  Unsurprisingly, because of its prime location, the church earned a widespread reputation as an attractive venue for weddings.

Because there were more requests than the two called ministers could accommodate   (one of whom, Richard Boeke, had presided and Trina’s and my wedding in Florida two years earlier),  students (like me) who were in the midst of in-field assignments were “authorized”  to conduct weddings as per rules established by the state of California.  After completing a class focused on the proper conduct of rites of passage, complemented by some coaching from my mentor, I began responding to a few requests for services.

Of the eight or so weddings I performed during my student days most didn’t actually take place at the Kensington church, but they felt special nonetheless.  One, featuring a Jewish groom and a gentile bride, was held at the historic Presidio, and another at the whitewashed Sterling Vineyards chateau in Napa Valley.   Yet another - either the first or second of the seven-hundred or so I have logged in the course of a forty-two-year career - took place on August 9, 1975 at the Sequoia Lodge in the Oakland foothills.

I’m quite sure of the date because an out-of-the-blue email from that still-married couple landed in my inbox a few months ago.  “Are you the same Michael Schuler who officiated at our wedding in Oakland fifty years ago?” Sheila, the former bride, asked.  “It’s quite likely,” I replied, while at the same time admitting that my recollection of her and Lloyd, the groom, was pretty sketchy.  That didn’t phase her in the slightest.  What she really wanted to know is whether I would be willing to prepare a renewal of vows ceremony for their fiftieth anniversary!  It would mean so much to them if the same minister who helped tie the knot in 1975 would be willing to preside at a do-over in 2025. 

After some back and forth I learned that after many years in California, Sheila and Lloyd had relocated to central Ohio to be closer to their children and grandchildren.  After some searching through unpacked moving boxes, Sheila had come across a copy of the original ceremony, which I had given her, and wondered whether it could re-purposed for the renewal.  And…since it was impractical for me to come to their Ohio home to officiate, would I be willing to join in the festivities via FaceTime?

Well…everything went swimmingly.  I cribbed some material from a renewal I’d composed a decade earlier for a couple celebrating their fifty-seventh anniversary, tweaked the original vows to reflect the new circumstances, and appeared on-camera in a blousy Hawaiian shirt matching the couple’s chosen attire. 

I have to admit that it all felt a little strange, but Lloyd and Sheila were glowing as the ceremony unfolded.   For me, it marked yet another novel experience in a pastoral calling that just refuses to quit.    

p.s. - Trina and I prepared our own renewal 20 years ago, which was attended by 25 or so guests. The celebration took place on Governor’s Island, overlooking Lake Mendota.